Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
