Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
