hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
