good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize