He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
