He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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