You were right. It hurts to walk today.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
this hospital has no fireball
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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