I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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