i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
