You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
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