just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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