Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
