I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
well you can't waste a boner
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Randomize
