Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I think a kid would responsible me up
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize