you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Randomize
