'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
