he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Randomize
