you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
