Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
