someone threw a dead crab at me
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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