Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
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