i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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