Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
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