Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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