a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
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