I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize