I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
