I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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