when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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