he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
It's blow job season.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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