What a fucking waste of an outfit
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
