I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Randomize
