I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize