living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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