It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
