Got a toothbrush?
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
you never un-have a 4some
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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