birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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