i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
