you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
And then he peed in my hair
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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