Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
