If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
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