Yo dont text me then not text me
Did you just see the Batmobile???
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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