I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
