You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
ok first of all what the fuck
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
