Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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