What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
