you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Bring me that man meat
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
