I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
