WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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