Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
He better not be in your backpack
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize
