just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Randomize
