if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Randomize
