Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
