lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
