Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
