therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Randomize
