Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
