You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
