So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Randomize
